Welcome, this is the narrator speaking. But the story hasnt started yet. So actually this is pointless, ive just wasted precious seconds of your short life. And im never gonna give them up. Never gonna let them down. Never gonna run around and desert them. Never gonna make them cry. Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie, which i just did. Goodbye. Oh boy, here we go. Chaptah 1 One morning, or maybe afternoon, there was a square. That square was John. Also hello, this is the narrator again. John felt as if something was wrong. He went to ask his friends, who were sitting nearby. Then, a glass shattering, ear exploding, blackboard-scratch like noise suddenly appeared. It was John's voice. "Did you feel that?" A voice the sound of dill pickles appeared, which belonged to Jacob. "Feel what?" A weird feeling came trough the two weirdos. "That." Another voice emerged, sounding like Wok cooking, belonging to the originally named Jaycob. Im going to try to mark their voices somehow, theathre script style. Wok: "I felt that" Pickle: "Me too" Square: "Wonder what that was" W: "Maybe its just the wind..." S: "Wind doesnt cause that kinda feeling" P: "What is it then?" S: "Felt like a hairdryer shooting bratwurst on your skin" P: "Agreed, let's go get some jam" S: "Im not gonna help your jam addiction, cucumberface" P: "U wot m8" W: "Oh snap" They started smacking themselves with chicken legs afterwards. After they finished the smacking, they have arrived at the local store. They went inside and got the jam. Jacob swiftly scarfed it down. S: "What a weirdo" P: *unitelligable licking noises and heavy breathing* W: "Indeed" And then they went to look for the cause of the weird feeling. They searched untill they saw the large golden crescent in the dark sky. P: "I love watching the moon" S: "Thats no moon you dum dum" After staring carefully, Jacob noticed the golden crescent to be a giant banana in the sky. P: "Huh" A large bell noise was heard Turns out that Jaycob smacked it with an antique metal rod. W: "Sounds like its hollow on the inside" P: "Someone ate it without peeling it?" S: "Damn you King Kong" W: "Thats copyrighted dude" S: "Damn you copyright" Will they ever find out what the weird feeling was? What was the banana doing there? Did Jacob finish the jam? Did you notice that you were rickrolled? Find out next episooode. Sincerely apologising for the double post. Chapta Tooo After further inspection, the metal banana appeared to be part of an advertisement. "Damn you advertising" said Jacob S: "We talk like this, man" P: "It was the narrators fault" The narrator got his salary cut. The trio still felt the weird feeling. They have decided to go to a place where they can see most of the town. W: "To Mount Procrastination!" Jacob said vigorously. They have walked to the nearest bus stop, where they have met another one of their friends. This tall, but gentle guy, greeted them in a voice. A voice sounding like the harsh cold of the north. And Peter was his name. G: "Hello there" said the gentle giant. And giant indeed, as he was about 3 metres tall. S: "Did you feel that too, Peter?" G: "Felt what?" A strange feeling came trough the gang. S: "That" P: "I felt it" W: "I did too" G: "Felt like a hairdrier shooting bratwurst at your skin" S: "Exactly" Then, the three caballeros of this story told Peter about what they think. G: "I planned to just hang out at this bus stop, but I guess I can go with you. Suddenly a frame with words inside appeared above the characters. "Peter joined the party!" it proudly proclaimed. W: "Stories are 2D, so I guess there's no walls to break" S: "Indeed" After what seemed like an eternity, the buss arrived and they came on board. During the ride, they have witnessed something from the cosmos hit the earth. As it felt quickly they could make only the humanoid shape of it, as well as it's round, black shiny head. And some round sign for a face, presumably a number. They shrugged it off and continued to focus on the ride. After some sightseeing, they have arrived at Mount Procrastination, and surprisingly, they have heard clarinet music coming from above. Speaking of procrastination... What does the music mean? Still, what is that feeling? Why DO their voices sound so weird? Find out next time. Notmyfaultfodattriplepost. Chapter Tree The crew went up to the ledge above them and they saw a short man playing the clarinet. It was John. John turned around, and greeted them in a voice sounding like monkey smashing up Keyboards at NASA, combined with a subtle hint of Victorian style furniture and jar opening. Oh wait, that was Jacob opening the jar. P: "Sorry" Apology accepted. The short round headed, glasses wearing man spoke in that voice I've just described. R: "Hello" S: "Hey" P: (unintelligible eating noises) G: "Hi!" W: "Why am I the last one to say hello?" S: "Cause the giant man with the keyboard in the sky said so" W: "He did?" I did. W: "Hello then" After adding many hellos to lengthen the story so it doesn't appear that short, the crew explained the situation to John R: "Yes, I came here to study that too. I feel it too" P: "Feel what again?" A strange feeling came trough the group. S: "Why does that happen every chapter?" I questioned my own decision, so I replied to myself saying: Itsagag S: "Oh" The group the got themselves together and went up the mountain trail. W: "Why is the path covered in assorted nuts and dried fruit?" G: "Maybe cause this is a trail mix" A cheesy laugh track started playing. S: "That laugh track is as funny as your joke Peter" It stopped then. They have finally reached the top ans they looked around. They quickly spotted the cause of the weird feeling. They were shocked. S: "Its...." W: " It's a.. a..." G: (too shocked to talk) R: "Inconcievable! That is a..." P: "Giant hairdryer shooting regular sized bratwurst at everyone!" Blessed be the day! Bratwurst for everyone! But why bratwurst? Why a hairdryer? Is the bratwurst even good? How could the gang not see a giant hairdryer in the sky? That will be explained in the next installments I guess. Whoawhoawhoa It's time for this again. Not my fault for the quadruple post. Again Let's do this so it won't tug at the end of my mind anymore Chiiapter 4 Turns out that the giant, regular sized bratwurst shooting hairdryer is evil now because Jacob tried to steal it. S: "This is why we can't have nice things" They tried with all their might, clarinets, and jars of jam, but they couldn't dismantle or stop the evil bathroom utensil. They though that they have lost, but suddenly, a man emerged out of the background. AND HIS NAME WAS JOHN CENA He proceeded to rek the hairdryer while throwing bratwurst and autographed pictures for 20 dollars each at the guys. P: "Were so fabulously broke now" W: "Were teenagers so we don't have much money anyhow" Mr Cena proceeded to rek the hairdryer even more. It then exploded into cheap plastic and bratwurst everywhere. Turns out that inside were Bavarians trying to turn this town into Octoberfestburg. What a dum name for a good idea. John Cena kicked their butts off to the Alpes. JC: "I'm not always geographically correct" And he zoomed back into the background. It wasn't the best experience they ever had, but it had bratwurst, so it was good. They were happy that the threat was ded, and that this chapter didn't have much dialogue. They left for some burger joint where they went over their Mitaiken adventure. They later left for home, except for Peter, as the burger joint was his fathers, and he was on cleanup duty. The rest of the gang went home and documented their story in the internetz. You are right now reading one of the documentations. 1 people died from sausage overdose. Let us all remember Frank. He was a good guy. [*] RIP Frank. This chapter is in loving memory of Frank, the hairdryer salesman. Hairdryer. First person to tell me how many times the word hairdryer was used in this wins the Internet.
