Disclaimer: Please don't read this if you don't like religious context/articles/talk in general. This is just a way I can foresee my backstory. Disclaimer #2: This may or may not be based on a true story. Disclaimer #3 EDITED: If Disclaimer 2 is true, then "fan" is substituted for my name. Disclaimer #4 EDITED: If the last 2 disclaimers are true, then this is the story of my life. As a child, Fan was always enveloped with church-y things. He always saw the detailing in all the statues, all the words spoken, listening intently to every word. Even once, he skipped a grade in the local Sunday school because he had already learned the main prayer that was placed with the grade level. That same year, he received his First Communion. That day, he had received true happiness. Afterwards, he became an altar boy. One day, before serving for a mass, when he was at the age of 11, he was looking at the church bulletin board, looking at the poster that listed the 31 seminarians of the local diocese. My local priest saw me staring at the poster, and asked me, "You might be on that poster one day. Do you want to be a priest?" He had been waiting for this question to be asked for months now. He had been considering the chances of him being a priest, with all of his expertise in religion. He had been studying different things across the board, all under the noses of his friends and family. Fan responded, "Maybe, my family doesn't really have a priest within it yet, and I feel a sudden urge that I can be something bigger than what I have planned." During the mass, the priest called me out as a discerner in front of the entire congregation. He was shocked. He wasn't expecting that. He knew that all his friends, all his family knew that he was considering being a priest. His life changed. People now respected him for once, and gave him respect for a possibly future priest. Some people were flat out ignorant, and didn't do it anyways. Years passed, and the respect just came with being in my presence. Old ladies passing by, brushing my hair and saying, "You'd make a very good priest." Others, with the priest telling his other priest buddies, eventually passing it on to the local bishop. Fan was 13, and he had been considering being a priest for nearly 3 years now. By this time, Fan was much more exposed to the internet, and he had been researching doctrines, homiletics, different liturgies, the entire batch. It was then revealed to Fan that the local bishop would be visiting his city, and his local priest extended his invitation to visit the bishop for a mass, and a dinner afterwards with the bishop. When the time came, the mass happened, in the presence of the bishop, and 4 other priests. The event was a small one, and only Fan and 2 other discerners came to visit. The event lasted around 2 hours, and the bishop was very specially interested in my story. He explained the road to discerning a vocation, in which he had 4/5 of the steps completed already. The only obstacle in his way: Time. The minimum age for accepting people into the seminary, or even a religious order was right out of high school. Fan was in middle school, so he had a long way to go. ________________________________________________________________________________________ Every summer, Fan traveled to Missouri to go to a Catholic festival that nearly millions would make a pilgrimage. The festival was hosted on the campus of a religious order, founded in the '70s. It was always a very enlightening experience for him, and he always got to eat good food. Fast forward a couple of months, and Fan received an invitation to visit the campus once again, and this time, it came with a surprise. His old parish priest, who had retired nearly 6 months ago, had been residing at the retired priest's residence at the campus since then, and received them at the entrance of the campus. This priest was the same one who had asked him the pivotal question years before, and since then, he had asked questions to Fan about being a priest, about what it's like, and answering all of Fan's questions. When he had retired, Fan had lost a spiritual father. The old priest directed them to the retired priest's residence, where Fan and his party would be sleeping that night. Later that night, Fan ate dinner with all of the other retired priests, all of the young brothers, along with the religious superior. Following the dinner, Fan went out and observed the very beautiful Christmas lights, contemplating even then, what God had for him. The night ended, with a short prayer time. Morning came, and it was the final day of Fan's stay at the campus. It began with morning mass, which was Gaudete Sunday. Turns out, the retired parish priest was the homilist for the mass, so he decided to share some experiences being with Fan, and his party of the parish choir. "With permission of Father _____, I'd like to share some of my experiences being the parish priest of many of the people you see in the back. The young man you see in the front of all of them, sitting to the far side, is Fan, a young altar boy who is discerning to become a priest. He not only serves at the altar, but he has an altar at home, as well. He has all the books, all of the vestments, celebrating mass. Continuing on.." At this point, all of the other people in the party began to stare at me because the only person I confided this to was the priest, and only known to my family. This was the first time he had really began to become one with himself, and keep no secrets. He left Missouri, after taking leave of his spiritual father. When he had arrived back home, Fan began to be more and more like a priest. Praying through the Liturgy of the Hours, doing daily reflections, even starting his own blog. He began counseling others, to help them through the bad world they had been thrust into. ________________________________________________________________________________________ As Fan progresses on with his life, writing blogs, managing his religious twitter account, he struggles with sin. Sin moved into his life, and brought him down. While meditating on the sorrowful mysteries of the rosary, during a late night prayer session, he fell asleep. As he drifted into his dream, he dreamt of being ordained to the priesthood. It was mostly a blur. He was kneeling before the bishop in the cathedral, along with 10 other deacons, being ready to be ordained. As he was listening to the bishop preach the homily, he thought of the holy card he had always seen about Holy Orders. It was the image of the bishop in full regalia, laying hands on the ordinand, with Christ looking in from heaven, holding a chalice, along with a priestly stole. Other priests were also laying hands on the ordinand. As he came out of his blurred daydream, it had come time for the promises of the elect. As he promised and professed before the entirety of the congregation present, along with the bishop, and many of his friends in the crowd, that he would celebrate the Mass, hear confessions, and respect and obedience to the diocesan bishop, and his successors, he felt the now familiar feeling of the presence of God around him, a cold breeze, even though it was a solid 70 degrees outside. Soon after, he prostrated himself before the altar, and heard the Litany of the Saints begin. He blanked out. He regained his lucidity. It was the moment he had waited over a decade for. The laying on of the hands. He thought again of the holy card, with the bishop laying hands on him, instead of the two men depicted in the picture. He felt the hands of the bishop on his hair, and Fan took a breath. The cold breeze flew in again, and before he knew it, the other priests began laying their hands on him. He quietly prayed to God, so that he could be humble, within the house of the Lord. He imagined the priests who had helped him throughout his spiritual life, his confessors, his spiritual directors, the ones who had passed. Fan nearly shed a tear as he imagined his former parish priest laying his hands on him. He snapped out of it, and the prayer of ordination had begun. Such a prayer was very lengthy. He blanked out again, and he saw his new vestments being brought to him, so he could be in a new stole and chasuble. As he stood before the altar, he remembered being in a chasuble much like this one nearly a decade before, when he had reenacted mass, using all of the liturgical books. As he had finished this daydream, he knelt before the bishop once more, and the bishop smeared chrism oil on Fan's hands, anointing them, so that they would be worthy of celebrating mass. At this moment, Fan woke up. It was nearly midnight. Empowered with this dream, Fan worked with rigor, fasting and praying, in order to rid himself of sin before he would be ordained. ______________________________________________________________________________________ End of Chapter 3. Will be continued sometime in the near future.
